About a year ago I noticed a tickle on the underside of my nose. I kept rubbing it and it went away only to come back a few minutes later.

After some initial investigation and a minute in front of the mirror pulling my nostrils back over the top of my forehead whilst trying to displace my eyes to one side in order to look under my arm I discovered I have reached that certain age when the hair in the nose is equal to the hair in your eyebrows.

Since then, in an attempt to counter the deforestation of the Amazon basin my nose hair has spread and taken on a life of its own.

I have spent a year risking nose bleeds and sudden death whilst sticking scissors in the front of my head in an attempt to control the jungle growth.

I did think of trying a kukri or a golong or some similar fearsome hand axe type of device but the chances of having my eye out were too great.

I am now determined that at the weekend I will purchase one of those rotary nose hair clippers.

Having types that it strikes me that this device sounds like it is for clipping rotary noses….have you ever seen a rotary nose?

Strange language.